If you’re a parent, it’s only natural that you’d want to watch over your kids and know what they’re doing and know if they’re safe. In this day and age, who can blame you. There are dangers out on the street, with strangers everywhere who could potentially cause harm in one way or another. And there are dangers online as well, with threats from online predators and cyber bullying and unsafe websites they could end up on, and more. Both ways can pose potential threats to your family relationships. But if you’re a kid, especially a teen, you don’t want your parents watching over you all the time, either. You want some freedom to do things on your own. This difference in desires can cause friction to develop between the parents, who only want to be sure their children are safe, and the children who want some freedom to learn and grow on their own.
There are certain social apps available to let you monitor or even spy on your children’s activities online. But should you do it?
Let’s say our child has been chatting with someone online through a social app, possibly on Facebook, and their demeanor starts to change. Maybe they seem happier than usual, or they start asking suspicious questions or dressing differently. It’s enough to raise your concern and you decide you want to know what’s going on, what is being said in the chats. phone spy app
Or possibly you overhear part of a conversation they’re having with a friend and you get suspicious about something they mention and you consider taking a look at their browser history to see what sites they’ve visited. Or maybe you happened to walk in to their room unannounced and happen to catch a glimpse of a website they’re on, one that you don’t recognize, before they quickly close the page or switch to another one when they realize you’re there, and that raises your suspicions. These type of activities become true hindrances to build up family bond.
You could come right out and ask them about their chats or website visits, of course. But then you risk the chance of looking like your spying on them, and in the process upsetting them and losing their trust from what they perceive to be an invasion of their privacy and a lack of trust in them. Thus the family bond is at stake for most of the times. These activities seem to be perceived like catching you reading their diary, and they won’t forgive you for that. They may very well become even more secretive about what they’re doing, especially when you’re near, and may even start maintaining distance with you at other times as well. They could even start checking to see if you’re digitally spying on them, if you are trying monitor their chats and text messages on social apps, browsing history behind their back.
Yet even if you do start digitally monitoring and spying on them at home, you can’t do that when they’re at school or the library and can access the internet there. What will you do then?
So really, spying on your kids doesn’t help much in establishing family bond, as you will just alienate them if you do it wrong. You have to either ask questions in a more conversational way to put them at ease and gain their trust, or come to an agreement from the start, before they start using the internet or a cell phone, about your monitoring their activities.
This really is a bit of sticky topic, and there are proponents for and against spying. But, if you want your family relationships to be closer and if you want to keep tabs on them without the worry of looking like a spy to your children, then you need to find out solutions that can help you to connect with them from naturally.